Ok, so you got yourself a lovely and highly portable Nintendo DS Lite, the grand Etrian Odyssey RPG keeps avoiding the Old World, and you have already bought Brain Training for your parents, any conceivable Nintendogs/Pokemon combination for your children and/or nephews, and have already tried a variety of silly mini-game collections. Now, what? What’s left for a proper gamer to do with the thing, especially if he/she lacks any sort of pressing familial ties and doesn’t feel like going retro? Simple, really: try 20 of the best DS titles that have already been made available in Europe while avoiding to work in any meaningful (to your boss at least) manner. Here’s a list that should come in handy, in no particular order:

- Castlevania: Portrait of Ruin
- New Super Mario Bros.
- Age of Empires: The Age of Kings
- Hotel Dusk: Room 215
- Advance Wars: Dark Conflict
- The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass
- Trauma Center: Under the Knife DS
- Mario Kart DS
- Elite Beat Agents
- FIFA Soccer 2007 DS
- Worms Open Warfare 2 DS
- Meteos
- Metroid Prime: Hunters
- Mario & Luigi: Partners in Time
- Picross
- Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney
- Sonic Rush DS
- Animal Crossing: Wild World
- Lunar Knights
- Geometry Wars Galaxies DS

It’s been four years in the making but finally the first MMORPG for mature (as in truly junevile and properly immature) audiences has gone gold. Quite appropriately the Age of Conan - Hyborian Adventures pre-orders have already began too, as co-publishers Eidos and Funcom announced that the vaguely barbaric game will be very soon hitting stores worldwide. Oh, and did I say barbaric? Sorry for that. What I meant was to use the publishers’ official description of the game as the most savage, sexy and brutal MMO ever created, which does admittedly border on barbaric but subtly differs.Then again, who cares about such things, eh?

Nobody, that’s who. All that matters is that Conan is everyone’s favorite, fantasy, 80s, mass-slaughterer and it’s been ages since the last time we visited a digital version of Hyboria. That and the succesful beta, a couple hundred thousand or so preorders and a few rather prestigious awards, that -if nothing else- sort of guarantee the game’s quality.

Now, as to what to expect from the game, besides some fantastic graphics, the well documented setting and the huge world every MMO seems to be promising, I’d say its key features would be a crafting system that should allow players to go berserk and even create a city, an advanced melee focused combat system, many PvP options bordering on RvR and a deep character customization/creation system. Oh, and a chance to properly role-play a Herald of Xotli. Joy!

Meet Roger Wilco, janitor extraordinaire and star of the truly funny Space Quest series by Sierra, back from the era when adventure games were actually considered killer-apps and went on to spawn sequel after sequel. Meet him through almost seven Space Quest games (well, six actually), out of which only five (almost six) used roman numerals in their titles. Meet him here and have a drink with the lad.

Space Quest I: The Sarien Encounter

The first game by designers Mark Crowe and Scott Murphy, a.k.a. The Two Guys from Andromeda, SQ I was released back in 1986 at the beginning of the adventure gaming mainstream era. The game used the early Sierra AGI engine, complete with 16 glorious colours and beautifully stylized graphics, a nice soundtrack and a pretty impressive -definitely hilarious too- parser interface. The plot introduced series star Roger Wilco, a janitor, who started off his heroics by napping in a broom closet while aliens hijacked the spaceship he was supposed to be cleaning and grabbed the devastatingly deadly Star Generator, only to finally wake up and save the universe. The game also introduced the series’ trademark humor, frequent -impressively varied too- deaths, difficult puzzles, arcade-y sequences and bad-guy Vohaul.

Space Quest II: Vohaul’s Revenge

The first sequel in the series is another text-driven graphics adventure that apparently took less than a year to develop, and, well, quite frankly it shows. Arch-villain Sludge Vohaul returns to hunt a now-famous Roger Wilco in a frustrating game with below average puzzles and mostly flat jokes. Not really worth your time without a walkthrough…

Space Quest III: The Pirates of Pestulon

Space Quest 3 was simply stunning and one of the better looking games of 1989, especially when seen on the Amiga. It also sported a truly post-modern and particularly funny plot involving the Space Pirates, a shovelware/software pirating group, who had kidnapped the Two Guys, thus endangering the future of the whole Space Quest franchise. Unless, that is, Roger stopped them, which apparently he did. The game, besides being excellent and taxing as ever, also featured tactical space combat and a playable arcade game.

Space Quest IV: Roger Wilco and the Time Rippers

The first 256-colour VGA Space Quest with full SoundBlaster support and the first point-and-click game in the series too, Space Quest IV remains among my top 10 adventures even to this day. It’s got everything you could ask for really: time traveling to previous and future SQ games complete with appropriate graphic changes, Roger’s son, a fantastic goodies-filled box, some of the best puzzles ever, Lucasarts game parodies, a burger making mini-game, Ms. Astro Chicken, droids, top-quality voice acting, latex babes, elaborate easter eggs, a smell icon and the aptly named Monochrome Boys. An absolute masterpiece.

Space Quest V: Roger Wilco - The Next Mutation

This one I haven’t played, mostly because it was the first SQ game that wasn’t designed by both the Guys from Andromeda, but most adventurers seem to agree it’s a fine game. Reviewers liked it quite a bit too. Released back in 1993, Space Quest V had Roger take on the Star Trek universe by graduating from the illustrious StarCon Academy, piloting his very own garbage-collecting spaceship and boldly going where no man had gone before.

Space Quest 6: Roger Wilco in The Spinal Frontier

The final installment in the series and the only one to do away with the silly places in outer space in order to focus on the silly ones inside the human body, as experienced by a highly miniaturized Roger of course. Actually, scrap that, as it’s just what the title implies. The game -an SVGA CD exclusive released in 1995- has Mr. Wilco exploring the vaguely nasty planet of Polysorbate LX while running into an incredible number of farcical video game, computer, pop-culture and movie references. Oh, and you’ll definitely love the cartoon-quality graphics and vastly updated point-and-click interface.

Now, as Space Quest 7 -or would it be VII?- never managed to survive the demise of Sierra and no more Space Quest games are to be released in the foreseeable future, seasoned veterans could go around and google for some mostly brilliant fanmade sequels and remakes. Alternatively, both them and gamers looking to dive into the taxing and surreal universe of Space Quest can go for Vivendi’s Space Quest Collection. It might not be the best collection possible (lacking a few game versions and coming with PDF manuals only) but it’s got the basics covered, runs brilliantly on the latest PCs and is dead cheap.

You probably have fond memories of the particularly impressive and quite technical fighting game that (allegedly) was Soul Calibur 3 for the PS2. Well, I don’t. Never played the thing. What I do remember though is just how brilliant the original Soul Calibur game was. Both in the arcades and on the beloved Sega Dreamcast in the comfort of my home. It was, after all, the game that led me to the discovery of my refined and frankly banal button-smashing technique; the bane of any average to moderate skilled SC gamer. All I had to do was randomly and quickly push every available button while moving the control stick around and simultaneously clicking on the shoulder buttons. Ahh, the days…

Shockingly, I haven’t really enjoyed a good fighting game since. Not that I tried or anyone would care, mind you, but still. Then again, Soul Calibur IV, or apparently Soulcalibur IV as Ubisoft and Namco prefer calling the thing, does seem like a great chance to revisit the genre. It looks absolutely stunning, will sport new fighting techniques, introduce a few intriguing and probably ridiculous back-story bits, and -yes- will even feature a very playable Darth Vader. A Yoda too! Oh, and finally there will be some proper online multiplayer options available to help me button-smash on a global level. Hooray!

Now, to the more practical bits of news: Soul Calibur IV will hit European stores on July 31 2008, which is quite soon. It will only be available for the PlayStation 3 and the Xbox 360.

Let’s start with the facts: a) the Wii is incredibly popular and relatively cheap to develop for, b) SEGA can’t stop itself from milking older fav franchises dry, c) both Sonic and the Secret Rings and Sega Superstars Tennis proved there’s still a lot of SEGA love left flying around, d) the Wii is brilliant for party, music and rhythm games or any combination thereof, and e) the Dreamcast has posthumously turned into a cult gaming phenomenon. Now let us sit, have some wine, try those lovely crackers, analyze them already self-analyzing facts and pretend we are SEGA. What would we do? Why, remake the brilliant, much-loved and very quirky Samba De Amigo for the Wii and then have some more wine. Shockingly, that’s exactly what SEGA came up with too (sans the wine bit). Go figure…

The game -Samba De Amigo Wii, that is- should be available in a few months and will feature the original’s trademark colorful graphics and dancing monkey, whereas the maracas will be replaced by the obvious choice of the Wii Remote - Nunchuk combination, which players will be happily able to calibrate to perfection. Now, a complete song list has yet to be revealed, but we can suspect the Hot Hot Hot song will probably make it. Oh, and the game will feature Mii compatibility, multiplayer options and a variety of game modes. How very promising.

Just a short post to let you know that the Commodore 64 ueber-classic Impossible Mission has been made available on the Virtual Console for a mere 500 Wii Points. Oh, and to point out that it hasn’t aged a day and still retains its hybrid puzzle/action charms. Joy, oh joy! So, if you care for a blast of nostalgia or want to find out just why this game has been considered a classic, better download it now. Alternatively, google around for the thing…

Ok, after hours of frustration I finally finished playing Psychonauts and all I can now do is bow in front of Tim Shafer’s superior intellect and then arrange for the man to meet Shigeru Miyamoto and be taught the way of 3D Mario. Psychonauts is brilliant, beautiful, absolutely original and at times downright sublime. It’s got great humor that actually uses the strength of the medium (err, that would be interactivity), excellent storytelling, interesting characters (shocking, I know) and a few moments that would make any great surrealist proud. Plus, the art direction is so masterful, uhm, a true master of art direction must have, err, directed it. Anyway. You get the idea. Psychonauts looks, sounds and feels fantastic.

On the other hand -and quite understandably as this is Mr. Shafer’s first attempt at platform gaming, let alone 3D platform gaming- the controls are simply terrible, sometimes even entering broken territory. Now, admittedly, this might have to to with the fact that I’ve played Psychonauts on the PC using the standard mouse/keyboard control method where obviously this is a game that would have greatly benefited from a dual analog controller, but apparently console reviewers aren’t to happy with it either. Then, there are more gameplay problems that would include a ton of things to collect, some truly infuriating boss battles, the lack of a proper save system and some god-awful combat bits. The question, however, is: do these flaws matter? Well, no, not at all.

For Psychonauts, dear readers, is hands-down the best action game I’ve played those last ten or so years and that even includes Super Mario Galaxy. It might have its fair share of problems and a distinct lack of polished gameplay mechanics, but it almost literally oozes class and originality. Besides, how many games let your in-game persona invade people’s subconscious and have arcadey fun around these mental constructs? How many games have you terrorize a city of sentient fish and collect emotional baggage while sticking bacon in your ear? How many games feature pie jokes? How many games sport ridiculously detailed levels based on wargames? None, that’s how many. Psychonauts is unique.

So, do yourselves a favour. Buy this game now. It is after all available for PC, PS2 and Xbox. Oh, and if you liked Psychonauts then you’ll definitely love Day of the Tentacle and Grim Fandango.

One thing you have to admit about Bethesda’s hotly anticipated and much debated Fallout 3 is that it looks absolutely fantastic. And I don’t mean this in a purely technical way either. The atmosphere of the original games seems to have been brilliantly captured, the attention to detail is impressive and the quality of the artwork is simply stunning. I mean, just look at those brand new screenshots; so evocative and beautiful. Heck, even the Brotherhood of Steel soldier (the shooting bloke in the 3rd picture, yes, he’s one of them) looks properly tacky and retro-futuristic.

As for the game itself, things couldn’t be more promising, despite the fact that it will indeed be a fully 3D, mostly first person and not particularly turn-based based affair. Bethesda, you see, not only managed to provide us with the impressive Oblivion RPG, but seem to have pulled all stops when it came to developing Fallout 3. We can expect over 500 (!) different endings, a huge and incredibly detailed post-apocalyptic world, a new character creation system, multiple gameplay styles and the very very handy new version of Pip-Boy. Oh, and Liam Neeson will be playing the lead role.

Now, for the poor souls that don’t know what Fallout and Fallout 2 are all about (let alone Fallout Tactics), well, instead of explaining the intricacies of their gameplay mechanics or ranting about their excellent stories, I’ll just point you to the brilliant and happily budget priced Fallout Collection.

Wii Play, what at first seemed nothing more than a glorified demo disc bundled with a Wii Remote, has apparently turned out to be one of the most successful Wii games yet, having already sold over 10 million copies and still going strong. Or to put things into perspective, Wii Play is a more successful game than Halo 3. Impressive, right?

Now, as the whole Wii Play thing does indeed cost (marginally) more than a Wii Remote, and as the public doesn’t really always know what’s best for it, the question is, is Wii Play worth your time? Is this selection of mini-games any good? Well, in a nutshell, yes. You get a selection of nine high-score oriented, action-heavy, mostly multiplayer and at times suitable for parties mini-games, for something more than a fiver. Happily most of them are both good and addictive, though admittedly they all could use a bit more depth. Here’s a breakdown of what’s on offer:

-Shooting Range: This is a direct descendant of Duck Hunt and the first time the Wii showed its prowess in lightgun games. Players go from shooting balloons, frisbees, and cans to UFOs, whereas the occasional duck can be targeted for a small score boost. An excellent game with a descent amount of levels.

-Laser Hockey: Air Hockey with neon-lights, where the Wii Remote controls really shine. Fantastic fun and impressively realistic physics. Also a personal favorite.

-Pose Mii: If you’re looking for a weird and truly frenetic two player game that really works well with alcohol, this one’s for you. Not much fun in single-player mode though. Oh, and the thing has you rotating, posing and positioning Miis in psychedelic bubbles.

-Fishing: Totally unlike fishing in Zelda and devoid of any entertainment value whatsoever.

-Billiards: A rare chance for some excellent billiards fun. Gamers play 9 Ball Billiards using the Wii Remote as a cue stick and it really feels right. Quite an elaborate attempt really, that -provided you actually enjoy pool- never truly gets old.

-Charge!: The player rides a cow and over scarecrows in a surreal yet brilliant racing game where high-scores are all that matters. The control method is not unlike the one used in Excitetruck and it really works. Unfortunately there is only one track to race around.

-Table Tennis: Pong with fancy (well, relatively speaking) graphics. Great, mindless, simple, classic, reflex-based fun.

-Tanks!: Theoretically this is the deepest game in the collection and the only one that benefits from the use of the Nunchuk. On the other hand, it’s just an updated version of the ancient Atari Combat, with 100 missions (80 of them must be unlocked) and a few new gameplay tricks. Moderately fun, though oddly addictive.

-Find Mii: Here, crowds of Mii characters will… err… crowd on the screen and the player must pick out the ones matching a certain description. Pretty pointless.

Kane & Lynch: Dead Men, the flawed but ambitiously mature in tone & style PC, PS3 and Xbox 360 game, will apparently be getting a selection of free goodies. Actually, make that four free maps. Better yet, a selection of four downloadable maps. Said maps will become available sometime this month and will come wrapped in a lovely pack Eidos chose to name The Dope Bag. How very cute, really.