It’s been four years in the making but finally the first MMORPG for mature (as in truly junevile and properly immature) audiences has gone gold. Quite appropriately the Age of Conan - Hyborian Adventures pre-orders have already began too, as co-publishers Eidos and Funcom announced that the vaguely barbaric game will be very soon hitting stores worldwide. Oh, and did I say barbaric? Sorry for that. What I meant was to use the publishers’ official description of the game as the most savage, sexy and brutal MMO ever created, which does admittedly border on barbaric but subtly differs.Then again, who cares about such things, eh?

Nobody, that’s who. All that matters is that Conan is everyone’s favorite, fantasy, 80s, mass-slaughterer and it’s been ages since the last time we visited a digital version of Hyboria. That and the succesful beta, a couple hundred thousand or so preorders and a few rather prestigious awards, that -if nothing else- sort of guarantee the game’s quality.

Now, as to what to expect from the game, besides some fantastic graphics, the well documented setting and the huge world every MMO seems to be promising, I’d say its key features would be a crafting system that should allow players to go berserk and even create a city, an advanced melee focused combat system, many PvP options bordering on RvR and a deep character customization/creation system. Oh, and a chance to properly role-play a Herald of Xotli. Joy!

I guess you could start by taking a bath and buying a new chainmail bikini, but I’m afraid Warhammer Online: Age of Reckoning will need much more than that. It will need patience (yes, more), fast preordering skills (to secure the beautiful collector’s edition pictured above), a desire to pay monthly fees, above average hand-eye coordination, a working mouse, a decent PC and a combination of MMORPG and Warhammer skills. Then, having covered the basics and in order to make sure you stand a chance of rising as one of the greatest heroes of the digital online version of the Old World, you’d better follow a few simple preparatory steps. These simple steps actually:

a) Make sure your love of Warhammer is as deep as ever. Better yet, make sure you remember how good Warhammer video games can be, preferably by playing the excellent and highly atmospheric RTS that is Warhammer: Mark of Chaos. Retro offerings like Shadow of the Horned Rat might come in handy too.

b) Start working on your PvP skills making sure you focus on the realm-vs-realm side of things. Warhammer Online’s key strength after all will be the extended RvR options, mechanics and arenas. Sun Tzu’s Art of War would probably be of some help, though flexing your MMO combat muscle is better achieved through playing the brilliant Dark Age of Camelot MMORPG. Mind you, them Dark Age of Camelot developers are the same people that will be responsible for the Age of Reckoning and -not surpisingly- DAoC has the best RvR battles yet.

c) Try to stock-up on free time, as you will quite frankly need it. Getting fired, entering a monastery, finishing any remaining PhDs, Mscs, term papers, etc, or preferably getting some paid vacation time are all acceptable solutions.

d) Catch up on your proper pen & paper Warhammer knowledge. Grab the latest edition (7th) of the rules, flick through the RPG book, browse the multitude of forums available online, tidy your Army Books, paint the odd miniature and re-read those yellowy Black Library novels you’ve been hiding in the basement. There, you’re ready for WAR!

I don’t believe I’ve mentioned it here on ButtonSmasher before, but Lord of the Rings Online is hands-down my favorite MMORPG and I thought you should, well, know. Actually, I’d even go as far as saying it’s the only MMO game of any sort I’ve truly -nay, deeply- enjoyed and a rare game I kept playing for what must have been seven months. Daily, that is, and, unlike World of Warcraft or Guild Wars, LotRO wasn’t something I gave up as a result of boredom. Far from it; giving up LotRO, its impressively written quests, its jaw-dropping world, its amazing storyline and the sense of living in Tolkien’s world was more of a social necessity than anything else.

Problem is, I might just have to give up sleeping once again though, for Turbine has decided to expand the game beyond them regularly released book updates (sporting everything from new quests, areas or play mechanics to in-game houses) by releasing the first full retail expansion of LotRO. It’s name? Why, it’s The Lord of the Rings, Volume II: The Mines of Moria of course.

Mines of Moria, that should be released sometime during the fall of 2008, will greatly expand the game and quite obviously give players a chance at exploring the glorious underground capital city of the Dwarfs, kill a few goblins, say things like Khazad-dûm aloud and probably have tea with the (winged?) Balrog. Other than that, players will also be getting six new books to play through, a level-cap increase to level 60, two new classes (Rune-Keeper and Warden) and those shiny new legendary weapons. Provided they forge them themselves, that is. Far too exciting stuff to miss really…

Mind you, even before the expansion gets released and provided you care for some quality deluxe RPG action, you could still consider giving the LotRO Gold Edition a look too.Oh, and better stick to the role playing servers.