All you have to do is wait for two weeks while looking at the spanking new S&M screenshots posted above, replay Sam & Max Season 1, hope for a Wii version of the deranged duo and you should have killed enough time to be able to experience the third episode of the second season of Sam & Max. It will sport quite a few zombies you know. And a Eurotrash Vampire. Oh, yes, and lots of humour.

Ok. This is the very first post to appear on ButtonSmasher regarding Sony’s ridiculously successful PlayStation 2 console and I do feel we should be doing something special about it. Unfortunately, lacking silly hats we wont. Sorry, but that’s how life is. Unfair and not very gentlemanly. Anyway. Let me suggest you have a look at five of the best games (very) recently released for the old thing instead. If nothing else, you might just be convinced that the PS2 is far from dying or being replaced by them PS3 thingies.

Pro Evolution Soccer 2008 (Konami): the latest version of the best football franchise for the PlayStation. Plays a proper game and almost manages to feel as good as Sensible Soccer. Oh, and it’s the first high scoring version if you know what I mean.

Guitar Hero III (Activision): classic guitar clicking with some lovely -if not classic- rock tunes. The visuals and play modes have been updated too and this time around you might actually enjoy the fact that it comes with wireless guitars.

Grim Grimoire (Koei): a rare real time strategy offering, that actually works almost as well as your average PC RTS. Happily sports some mighty impressive manga style visuals and interesting RPG bits.

Valkyrie Profile 2: Silmeria (Square Enix): the most impressive RPG to ever hit the PS2. Fantastic graphics, an excellent fighting system and a very Euro-RPG feel help it stand out. Also manages to pull off a pretty unusual 2D/3D mix of gaming styles.

Buzz! the Mega Quiz (Sony): shockingly a quiz game. Moderately enjoyable, massively popular and rather on the kids-friendly side of thing, but it does come with four outrageous controllers.

I know I’ve already talked about 10 of the best (mostly retro inspired, definitely indie developed) games available for the Xbox Live Arcade, but that was before Space Giraffe and thus before the llamas, disguised as Yaks and via the Trojan horse of Lllamasoft, invaded your average unsuspecting Xbox 360. Or at least before I noticed it. For I am generally absentminded and for Space Giraffe is not only among the best, but the best game available for this very MS console. Actually, I’d go as far as saying this game should be reason enough for the truly hardcore and properly old-school gaming masses to go on and buy an Xbox 360. Yes, it’s that good. It’s for the Xbox what Tempest 2000 was for the Atari Jaguar. No, really. I swear. Have a look at the screenshots, try the demo, spent a few Xbox Live points and you’ll see.

After all, this is a game created by legendary game designer, bearded visionary, all around nice-guy Jeff Minter that evolves the concept of Tempest almost beyond recognition. Space Giraffe, you see, is a psychedelic shoot-’em-up spanning 100 levels all set against trippy backgrounds that synchronize with your very own mp3s and a game that features bonus levels, hidden modes and nifty power-ups. Brilliant!

The Americans and the Japanese all but ignored it, but we Old Worlders knew better. We were after all old, loved arcade conversions and hadn’t really gone for this Nintendo Mario fad. Besides, instantly loading games impressed us deeply. Anyway, no matter the reason, we knew immediately. SEGA’s classic 8-bit console, the venerable Master System, was an impressive piece of hardware that sported dozens of gaming gems, managed to decently bring arcade favorites at home and was an all around excellent console. We absolutely loved the thing. Almost as much as our trusted home computers (though definitely not as much as those impressive AT PCs and Amigas).

But, as is customary, I digress. What I meant to tell you was that the Wii retro experience is about to get vastly enhanced with the addition of them lovely Master System games to the Virtual Console service. Yes! Your Wii Points will soon be able to get you all the Alex Kidd and Phantasy Star retro gaming you’ve always wanted. Oh, and judging by the Master System’s two-buttons controller you wont be needing a Classic Controller either, though, truth be said, it is an excellent little accessory.

Now, before you go off searching for downloadable bits of retro love, know that them SMS games will debut in Japan in a few weeks and only later hit European and US Wiis. The first games that will be made available will be no other than the excellently surreal, very cartoon-y, very smart Fantasy Zone shoot-’em-up (500 Wii points) and the Fist of the North Star (600 Wii points) brawler. Not a bad selection mind you, but definitely the best will arrive later and will hopefully include Phantasy Star, Golden Axe RPGs, lots of Sonic, Choplifter and -why not?- quite a few Sega Game Gear games too.

Created by Ron Gilbert, sporting the talents of both Dave Grossman and Tim Schafer, and impressively appearing on everything from classic PCs to the Amiga, the Atari ST, Apple’s Macintosh, the SEGA Mega CD, the rather multimedia FM Towns computer, your average Windows PC and even the moderately modern PlayStation 2, the Monkey Island series is a definitive part of the history of the adventure game. But what about the series’ history, I pretend to hear you ask. Well, here it is. In a nutshell of course.

The Secret of Monkey Island (1990)

The game that started it all and the first adventure ever to have been inspired by -of all things- a Disneyland ride, Monkey Island was a hilarious point-and-click adventure with a few darker bits, that was all about pirates. And monkeys. And some of the most surreal puzzles in the history of video gaming. And some lovely stylized art. And insult sword-fighting. And ghosts. And introducing Guybrush Threepwood. The game was published of course by LucasFilm before it turned into LucasArts. Oh, and if you find the PC CD version, do go for it and enjoy an amazing reggae soundtrack too. An instant classic and a great seller.

Monkey Island 2: LeChuck’s Revenge (1991)

My favorite MI installment, a sequel that bested its predecessor in every single department and probably the best comedy point-and-clicker I’ve ever enjoyed. Really. If you haven’t tried it, do yourselves a favor and grab a copy. Monkey Island 2 offers (among other things) two difficulty levels, lovely pixel-art VGA graphics, a brilliant soundtrack and the weirdest game ending sequence you could ever imagine. Which you can’t. Only Mr. Gilbert could and what he did come up with also happened to be a monumental cliffhanger. Then, as he left LucasArts before actually making the third game or revealing The Secret, said monumental cliffhanger turned into a pretty unbearable one…

The Curse of Monkey Island (1997)

Lacking Ron Gilbert, but still managing to cope with the series’ sublime first two entries, CMI still is a fantastic adventure. It sports a then-new simplified interface, some excellent jokes, amazing hand-drawn graphics, above average though easy puzzles and more importantly Murray the demonic skull, one of the funniest Monkey Island characters ever. On the downside, MI lost its darker side, Guybrush got to wed Ellaine and the game was a bit on the shorter side of things. Not that bad is it? And wait till you hear a certain pirate-y song by some barbers. Anyway. Should you need further reasons to try CMI, know that both Ron Gilbert and Tim Schafer think it’s a great game.

Escape from Monkey Island (2000)

Escape from Monkey Island, EMI, Monkey Island 4… The black sheep of the family and unless I’ve missed something (probably huge) the last adventure game LucasArts managed to publish. The widely hated but critically acclaimed final installment, that signaled the end of an era and failed to be funny. But, what is this all about? Why the hate? Well, because people tend to overreact, because it’s a Monkey Island game in 3D and because the interface is an impressive mess. Then again, there’s quite a bit of MI spirit in this one too. Not much, mind you, but there are enough references and familiar characters that make it a passable way to spend your point-and-clicking time. Until we get Monkey 5 that is. Or Ron Gilbert’s next game.

Any MI questions? Feel free to ask…

Not the most unexpected of titles I must admit, but the urge to dust off a certain Stranglers LP is just too… err… urging I guess. Anyway. Better focus on No More Heroes (anymore -heh) by Suda 51 and his Grasshopper Manufacture team instead. And if you absolutely have to know -and didn’t- No More Heroes is a stylish Wii game that oozes style the way an ooze oozes ooze and also happens to be a creation of roughly the same team that brought mankind the surreal Killer 7 game. In a nutshell it’s a brilliant game in an imaginatively surreal game.

Really. Not to over-hype the thing, mind you, but Suda 51’s latest oeuvre is probably the best thing you can get for your dear little Wii (well, in a while; you’ll probably be able to grab the thing in a month or so). It’s got violence, humor, sex, radical art direction, a truly odd story and spectacular graphics. Also you get to swing that Wiimote in an almost lightsabery way, and we all know this has been our collective fantasy for quite some time now. Actually, make that a beam katana way really, for that is what the odd thing your on-screen avatar Travis Touchdown will be wielding is called, but the difference is all but negligible. Anyway, exhaustive info will soon follow.

Oh, and while you’re waiting for the No More Heroes review to appear on this very blog, here’s some food for thought… How many video games you know of have been inspired by Jodorowsky’s El Topo?

It’s weird, I know, but even though both the Sixaxis and the Xbox controller aren’t really suited for FPS gaming, both of them heavy-weight consoles seem flooded with the things. Shocking and pointless and boring and dull I say. Unwieldy too and that’s why I’m urging you to ignore these shootie offerings and focus on 3 rather different and properly fun PS3 titles. These:

Ratchet & Clank Future: Tools of Destruction

In short, this feels like playing through a Pixar movie, complete with amazing graphics, excellent music, wacky characters, childish humor and shiny colours. Not an innovative game, I’ll give you that, but pure mindless fun and as polished a platformer as you could hope for. Besides, it also sports a silly story and your kids will love it. Should also serve to show off your console’s power to you friends, though they might get a tad disappointed when noticing the complete and utter lack of any multiplayer options whatsoever.

The Eye of Judgement

A strictly multi-player game that combines traditional CCG gaming with the power of the PS3. How? By using the PlayStation Eye camera and some very physical cards. Through the use of a board and said cards - each properly encrypted- players attack each other in the pretty intuitive fashion of selecting a card and placing it on the board in a fashion not unlike Magic the Gathering. The camera translates the card into a monster/order/whatever, prompts the PS3 to play an impressive animation and calculates any results. Not surprisingly Wizards of the Coast helped design the thing and its a breath of fresh air.

Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune

A classic arcade-adventure gone next-gen, or, to be precise, the evolution of arcade-adventures. Fantastic graphics, brilliant game mechanics, interesting puzzles, a convincing setting, PC quality storytelling, shockingly good voice acting and an inspired mix of bits of every genre imaginable make Uncharted the best single player game the PS3 has to offer. Yes, despite it being pretty short. Length, you see, has nothing to do with quality.

It’s only been 50 years since the founding of Namco and no more than 30 since the oldest game on the compilation under scrutiny was released, yet the word museum still sounds slightly odd. Then again, I do sound both old and odd. And continuously fail to come up with meaningful intro paragraphs. Anyway. On with reviewing stuff on shiny disks for the PC.

Namco’s 50th Anniversary Museum is a decent (thankfully budget priced too) collection of some classic, some not so classic and a few pointless games hoping to please retro gamers, teach new gamers old tricks, teach young dogs strange tricks and/or entertain the average casual gamer. There are 16 games on offer two of which (PacMania and Galaga `88) are unlockable by attaining (pretty low) highscores in PacMan, Ms. PacMan or the original Galaga, that coincidentally are actually three of the best titles available in this compilation. All three are well-emulated too and classic to the point where there is no need of any descriptions whatsoever. The other games included are:

Dragon Spirit, which I had never played before, and is a passable top down shooter with an appropriately ridiculous backstory and cute graphics .

Pole Position and the radically samey Pole Position II, both aged beyond recognition (they used to be quite nice guys back then) but excellently emulated. Still very enjoyable for the high-score maniacs out there.

Galaxian, a classic shoot-’em-up that expanded on Space Invaders. Also the first game ever to offer proper colour graphics, a theme song and a scrolling 3D-ish starfield.

Mappy, the strange little unknown game that is fun for five minutes, but tends to get nervous, act stranger and gradually reduce the poor player to a horrified excuse of a person.

Rolling Thunder, a decent platformer/shooter with nice graphics.

Xevious, the classic Namco Classic that all but defined its genre. Fly, avoid enemies, dodge bullets and destroy everything while gawking at these once groundbreaking graphics.

Skykid, which is pointless, annoying and obscure, but I guess perfectly emulating the horror of being a skykid (?).

Rally-X, a very interesting car racing game with a maze twist. An absolute time sink.

Oh sorry, almost forgot. When (and if) you buy Namco Museum you will also be able to play Dig Dug and Bosconian.

That’s the deal. Just take into consideration that there are virtually no extras (like interviews, photos, videos etc), very few options, very slight but usually annoying sound problems and the overall presentation isn’t as sleek as it should have been. And you could always go all criminal and download MAME roms for free instead. On the plus side you get to hear five “classic” 80s songs while browsing through the games and it wont cost you a fortune. The 3D arcade is a nice touch too.

[Pssst… To find out what this is post is all about and/or have a look at the first part of this little Desert Island Disks feature, well, click here.]

Diablo II & expansion pack

I wouldn’t really call Diablo or its sequel a true CRPG, but I would definitely describe both of them as extremely addictive, time-consuming, fun and oddly atmospheric games. Oh, yes, and as action heavy hack-and-slash offerings set in a dark fantasy world featuring many nasty little (and pretty huge) devils too. Then there are them randomly generated levels and the huge variety of enemies, weapons, spells, you name it, that make sure the Diablos last more than roughly a dozen of your average FPSs. Obviously Diablo II is the better game, whereas Lord of Destruction a typically brilliant Blizzard expansion.

Heroes of Might & Magic III

I must have wasted quite a bit of my life on this one already, but nevertheless I’m sure I could waste a bit more. Especially if stranded on a bloody island. Heroes of Might and Magic III, you see, a game I usually spell Heroes of Might and Magick for some peculiar reason, is a superb turn-based strategy affair, that’s incredibly simple to get into and incredibly difficult to master. HOMM III is played on three levels (World exploration/strategic - City/resource management - Battlefield/tactical level) and happily excels at each one. Also sports tons of missions to beat. Failing to grab a copy of it, I guess I could settle for the admittedly deeper HOMM V, even though I still prefer my 2D graphics. HOMM IV is just despicable, mind you.

Sensible World of Soccer

Simply the best version of the best footie game ever and something you really have to play on an Amiga to truly appreciate. The pace is just right, the game actually feels like playing -not watching- football, the stylized graphics are pure genius and SWOS goes as far as to provide with an expanded team management bit. Probably needs a classic digital joystick too, you know, for the complete experience. Infinitely replayable, despite the fact I can easily win the Euro Cup with Malta.

TIE Fighter

Wing Commander was great, X-Wing was better and TIE Fighter is simply above anything else. Getting to play the bad guy -with an option for joining the order of the abominably nasty- while flying one of those highly maneuverable though totally shield-less TIE thingies was a fantasy come true and one I’m eager to relive. Happily, I haven’t played the thing for ages either, so I guess it should last me for a good 50-60 hours, what with its training missions, dozens of historic battles and three (if I remember correctly) pretty hefty campaigns.

Tetris DS

Alexey Pajitnov’s masterpiece, besides its billion-selling Game Boy version, has had more re-imaginings, versions, ports and knock-offs than any other game has bytes. As for me, I’ll pick the recent Nintendo DS version. Despite its flaws, Tetris DS offers a fresh look at the game complete with brilliant new visuals and all the classic gameplay. The five extra game modes (no that they are necessary) do add quite a bit to the longevity of the thing too.

Assassin’s Creed Altaïr’s Chronicles for the Nintendo DS will apparently be the direct prequel of the flawed masterpiece that was Assassin’s Creed and should be available sometime next month. Gamers will be able to uncover interesting bits about the protagonist, his past and his supposedly deep history by playing through a rather impressive arcade-adventure. The game will sport a fully realized and technically amazing (well, judging from the screenshots, that is) 3D world in which players will travel and battle through four cities of the Crusades’ Middle East, allegedly using acrobatic moves and combo attacks. Shockingly for a DS game appropriate mini-games are also to be expected.