It was over 20 years ago when my father brought me the PC version of Sid Meier’s Pirates! and, despite despising the huge manual, I’ve absolutely loved the game (or should I say franchise?) ever since. Looking at a CGA sky and using a paper map to navigate, raiding towns and sinking ships, freely deciding what to do and where to sail, juggling politics and cannonballs while looking for lost family members and a beautiful island to retire on, all sounded like computer magic. These boasts, you see, the game’s boasts, impressive even by todays standards, were almost unthinkable in the late 80s. And of course innovative beyond measure. A programming feat too. Yet, Pirates! offered all that and more, and I was thoroughly obsessed with the game, playing it for what must have been hundreds of hours. Then I pointlessly sought to improve the experience.

After spending a few years trying the rather more colourful EGA version of Pirates, dabbling with the smart CPC port, the vastly updated Amiga version and growing older, I was thoroughly dissapointed by 1993’s Pirates! Gold, but still cared for more of my swashbuckling entertainment. The original was still the best, yet returning to it wasn’t as easy as it is today. We didn’t have no emulators back then, you know. Regardless. I even kept my 5.25″ inch drive and tried to run the bloody thing of the ancient self-booting floppy again. Not much fun was to be had, not on the high seas at least, but when the glitzy 3D Sid Meier’s Pirates! 2004 remake finally hit the shelves I was more than skeptical. Happily, I was also wrong. The game was brilliant. Deeper even. And then they remade it once more for the PSP. As you can see for yourselves it looks more than pleasing…

Sid Meier’s Pirates! for the Sony PSP though has more than looks to it. First of all, it proves that the Pirates! games are far from dead, that there’s still room for improvement and that good games never die. They simply raise from their graves and discipline their boring spawn. Secondly, Pirates! PSP with it’s short, varied and numerous missions is brilliantly suited for short bursts of play and thus a truly handheld game, and thirdly, Pirates! -admittedly along with Football Manager- are the only games that would convince me to grab one of Sony’s shiny new handhelds.

Then again this is neither the time nor the place for this conversation. 2008 is almost upon us and I haven’t even managed to finish buying presents. Oh dear…

Have a happy new year everyone!

Truth be said, if Call of Duty 4 isn’t your cup of tea and you’ve already beaten Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune, there’s not much you can do with your still shiny Sony PS3 during the holidays. Unless that is someone reminds you the bloody thing also happens to be a reasonably priced Blu-ray player, and apparently ButtonSmasher just did that for you. Heh. Now, as Blu-ray players are quite appropriate for watching movies, all you have to do is find something worth watching. Something to scare the kids with. Something like Pan’s Labyrinth. Better yet, Pan’s Labyrinth itself. Your PS3 will thank you and you will thank me (hopefully in cash).

Guillermo Del Toro’s masterpiece, you see, is probably the best movie on them shiny new discs yet and definitely one of the few truly classic movies released this past decade. It’s a sublime mix of dark fantasy with brutal realism set in post-Civil War Spain, that manages to raise important questions while offering some of the most beautiful yet disturbing visuals you’ve ever imagined. Instead of spoiling even the slightest bit of plot for you, let me just admit I’ve been watching it and showing it around regularly this last year, and that the first time I did so I also needed a bit of tequila to calm me down. Definitely not for kids this one.

It’s amazing what a year will do to a game. Well, not really, no, unless of course you care for a massively slashed price or you’ve managed to accidentally bury said game. Anyway, pseudo-humorous intros aside, Medieval II: Total War, a game released only a year ago and now available for the most modest of imaginable fees, is not only a brilliant game, but also an aptly named one too. It is you see a PC wargame in the Total War franchise and it is cunningly set in the medieval era; the second of its kind. It also still happens to be an excellent -nay, unsurpassed- game. A game console owners could only dream about. A sophisticated, smart, historically accurate and complicated game, that epitomizes PC gaming.

For the poor few souls among you that haven’t played any of the previous Total War games, let’s just say that Medieval 2 is a game that combines turn-based strategy with well-paced RTS tactics into a coherent and enjoyable whole, and of course immensely addictive and time-consuming, whole. This means that your Civilization-esque empire building strategic thinking is interrupted by pure RTS strategic battles, while you are constantly witnessing impressive visuals and experiencing a megalomania inducing atmosphere.

What’s even more interesting, and I’m still talking to you dear Total War virgins, is just how amazingly accessible and intuitively controlled this game is. And, please, do believe me, this is quite a feat for such a multi-tiered game. The two brief but enjoyable tutorials, the well-voiced and fully customizable advisors and the ever helpful… err… help buttons are more than necessary. Then again, there’s always the trusty 70-pages long manual, only I seem to appreciate.

On to the bit concerning Total War veterans then, who for some inexplicable reason have yet to grab the game. What’s new in Medieval II, I swear I can hear the infidels among your ranks ask. Is it any good? Really? Is it better than Rome? Well, to be rather blunt, yes. It’s definitely better than Rome, and even though it’s more of an evolution than a revolution in the franchise, it also is the best Total War game ever produced. The one offering the deepest gameplay too.

Most of the changes, besides the ones regarding the visual side of things, are on the subtle side and mostly regarding the now divinely enjoyable turn-based part of the game. The role of religion for example, be it obeying (overthrowing even) a Pope, or calling for a Jihad/Crusade, even though it’s an evolution of Rome’s Senate mechanics, plays like a totally new feature, as does the -admittedly 100% original- division of settlements into cities and castles. Non-combat units have also been expanded, now featuring princesses, priests, imams, spies, assassins, diplomats, merchants, whatnot, while the AI feels both better and more organic. Slight changes have also been added to the already brilliant RTS bits. The sieges remain absolutely fantastic, mind you.

And now for the more impressive feat of Medieval II Total War: the graphics. Well, a year’s passed and they still are bloody amazing. The game builds heavily on Rome’s engine, updating the strategic level’s visuals and making sure the 3D RTS parts are jaw-dropping by adding tons of special effects, shadows and quite a few thousands of polygons. The greatest improvement though is that each unit on the battlefield is no longer a stiffly animated group of clones, but more of a proper unit consisting of individual -thus quite different to each other- soldiers, fighting in an animated way that puts Dawn of War to shame. Yes, it’s that good, really.

Actually, my only complaint regarding this brilliant game is the multiplayer part of it. Still no online campaign option, only RTS battles. Tsk, tsk, someone better have a look at the turn-based multiplayer orgies organized by dear Civilization 4 methinks… Then again, Medieval II Total War does offer you the chance to fight with 21 factions and even be a Native American hero defending his homeland against European brutality. Lovely. Do get yourselves a copy.

Oh, and in case you’ve already played the game to death and have tried most of its pretty impressive freeware mods, you could do worse than have a look at its expansion. I hear it’s more than interesting…

Assuming not everyone is a misanthrope like my poor wretched grumpy self and that people still sort of like Santa, well, happy holidays everyone! May your goats live life to its fullest! May your PS3s come in cheap and your Wiis in abundance! May you all live long and prosper. May you game healthily away. Uhm… yes, best wishes everyone etc. Happy? Good.

Now that you got your fare share of holiday wishes and since you’re all wearing your silly (probably red) festive little hats and ButtonSmasher is all about games, let’s talk Christmas games, shall we? Of course we shall.

Christmas games you see are divided in three categories. First of all we have them properly Xmas themed offerings like Christmas Nights, Daze Before Christmas or even Christmas Carnage. Then there are the games released/bought during the holidays or those strongly associated with them in the most personal of ways and, finally, there are the Christmas Lemmings games. Or to be precise the two Xmas Lemmings and the two Christmas/Holiday Lemmings games, all from the period before Sony got involved with Psygnosis and long before the pretty excellent PSP and PS2 Lemmings were first imagined. Not a real category, I know, but I love the little buggers.


The first Xmas Lemmings gig was a free four level demo (only two of the levels were Christmas themed) released by Psygnosis back in 1991 for the Amiga, PC and Mac and was aptly titled Xmas Lemmings 1991. The game played exactly like the original, as was actually the case with every festive Lemmings game that followed it, with the main difference being the cute Santa dressed Lemmings and the snow covered levels. Xmas Lemmings 1992 was another 4 level demo that followed one year later, only this time each of the four levels was filled with festive little touches and Lemmings in red outfits.

The 1993 demo, this time dubbed Christmas/Holiday Lemmings 1993 -depending where you played it, featured only 3 levels and was followed by a full commercial game sporting an adequate 32 levels, 16 of which had a difficult rating of “Flurry” and 16 of “Blitz”. 1994, the last year that got its festive Lemmings offering, was the luckiest one too, getting an up-to-standards 4 level demo and a 64 level commercial version offering 2 new difficulty settings (”Frost”, “Hail”) and the complete ‘93 game.

And, ignoring some hideous 3D rodents, this was the end of ‘em Christmas Lemmings. Sad isn’t it? Oh, well… Merry Christmas!

Super Mario Galaxy, Metroid Prime 3, Twilight Princess and a bucket load of triple A games aren’t all there is to your Wii, you know. The shiny little white one has a strong retro side too and all you need to access it are some Wii Points and a WiFi connection. Well, probably a Classic Controller too. But you knew that. Then again, you probably also knew that the Virtual Console isn’t as sleek or well priced as the Xbox Live service and you simply didn’t care. What you didn’t know is that I’m about to suggest 10 of them downloadable classics in an attempt to a) let you get a glimpse at my gaming tastes and b) make sure you don’t spend them hard earned points on something meh.

So, without further ado then, here’s what you should be having a look at (in no particular order and right after emailing Nintendo and asking them for some downloadable demos; I mean, really, how difficult is it?):

Air Zonk (TurboGrafx 16 / 600 points)

Zonk, the sci-fi Bonk spin-off character stars in this wacky shoot-’em-up by Hudson Soft, that comes complete with amazing parallax scrolling, brilliant cartoon graphics and some of the weirdest power-ups you’ve ever seen. Splashes of decent -more than decent by video game standards- humor, tactically demanding gameplay, colorful cartoon graphics, surreal landscapes and a smart buddy/power-up system are also a plus. I’d even recommend it over its CD enhanced sequel too.

The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time (N64 / 1000 points)

According to every games reviewer ever this is the best Zelda game ever crafted. Ever. So, uhm, who am I to question such wisdom? Well, that’s who, but the real question is whether you can stomach the traditionally mediocre Zelda story in order to delve into Hyrule’s past, do some time traveling, solve puzzles, investigate the origins of the Triforce and all in breathtaking 3D? The answer of course should be yes. Ocarina was amazing and revolutionary back in 1998 and still is one of the best games available on any format. Probably will last you for more than 30 hours too.

Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (Mega Drive / 800 points)

The surprisingly named sequel to Sonic the Hedgehog, Sonic the Hedgehog 2, also happens to be the best Sonic game ever (with the possible exception of Sonic CD) and the first platformer to offer split-screen two player action and truly satisfying bonus stages. If you haven’t played it yet, well, here’s your chance. Interestingly Sonic 2 was also the game that kick-started the whole Sonic-friends thing…

Super Mario 64 (N64 / 1000 points)

The N64 killer-app was the first game to provide Mario with a 3D corpus complete with a suitably 3D landscape to play in and consequently the game to show mankind just how 3D platformers are supposed to work. Mario 64 is huge, diverse, smart, beautiful and probably one of the best games you’ll ever play. Mind you, first time I tried it was on the Wii and even though I was suspicious it simply impressed me.

Super Metroid (SNES / 800 points)

The Space Pirates, truly nasty agents of the abominably evil Mother Brain, have stolen the last Metroid from a research station, and Samus Aran must don her awesome high-tech suit and lingerie and save the world. Again. Only this time, the open-ended Metroid experience comes with excellent 16-bit graphics, new weapons, dozens of different enemies and one of the best stories ever told in video gaming history. Make that a rarely touching story.

Ghouls N’ Ghosts (Mega Drive / 800 points)

Ghouls n’ Ghosts, the sequel to Ghosts n’ Goblins, was a major jaw-dropper. Its shiny 16-bit graphics, the rain effects, the smooth scrolling, the detailed sprites, all made for one of the best looking Mega Drive games of the 90s. Only problem was it was dead hard. Addictive and dead hard. Happily, thing haven’t changed on the Wii and people can still lose their sleeps over Arthur.

Paper Mario (N64 / 1000 points)

Paper Mario, the 64-bit follow-up to the 16-bit Super Mario RPG, is a highly enjoyable turn-based RPG/action-game hybrid set in an appropriately papery world composed of colorful cutouts. The story might be simple and Paper Mario may be missing the series’ latest shiny additions, but it’s still beautiful to look at, well written and immensely addictive to play.

King of Fighters ’94 (Neo Geo / 900 points)

SNK’s first King of Fighters game and the first arcade fighter to pit teams of 3 agains each other is one of the few true bargains available on the Virtual Console. Instead of trying to locate one of the few arcades sporting the game left or shelling out a small fortune for a Neo Geo with the cartridge, download KoF 94 and you’ll be in 2D fighting games heaven.

Gate of Thunder (TurboDuo / 800 points)

Admittedly, not everyone likes horizontal 2D side-scrolling shoot-’em-ups or shmups as people tend to call them these days, but those who do can easily appreciate great gameplay mechanics when they see them. As for the few true fans of the genre left, well, they can’t do much better than Gate of Thunder. The game was originally released for the CD part of the TurboDuo and is as hardcore a shmup experience as anyone could ask for. And with hardcore I mean both though and smart. And with an… uhh… interesting 80s soundtrack.

Super Mario Bros. 3 (NES / 500 points)

The only NES game to make my list, but please do understand. I grew up with home-computers and Nintendo’s classic console doesn’t have the nostalgic value of -say- an Amstrad CPC. Still, Mario 3 is an admittedly fantastic game. Probably better than Rick Dangerous too. And no, this has nothing to do with me memories, but more with the sheer excellence of said platformer. The variety of the power-ups, the colorful graphics, the perfect learning curve and gameplay balance… Ahh, yes, definitely a masterpiece.

It’s not every day a new gaming blog hits the web, is it? Oh, really? Sure about that? Well, if you lot say so… Anyway, not every gaming blog is like ButtonSmasher, for ButtonSmasher is …err… different and ButtonSmasher has just opened its particularly virtual gates for your very own computer & video gaming pleasure. So, uhm, stay here, have a first look around, enjoy what’s there to enjoy and let us know what you think about the experience. Or wish us the best. Or, you know, just be nice.

But, I pretend to hear you ask, truly, what will ButtonSmasher be all about? Buttons? Smashing buttons? And if so what kind of buttons? Keyboard, joystick, joypad, Wiimote or mouse ones? Old or new? Will it also sport smashing of other sorts? How about sports? Shorts? Well, ask no more dear newfound friends, for I’m about to tell you what this very blog will be all about. Games. Yes, a shock, I know.

Expect regular updates covering everything from PC gaming and MMOs to retro gaming, to new releases, the Wii, handhelds and them shiny new PS3 / Xbox 360 consoles. Expect reviews, previews, rants, news, random posts and features. Expect the bloody unexpected.

Oh, and “Hello World”.